Monday, August 18, 2008

Bacon sez: McCain is pooing in the tub!

Okay, if you were inventing and building a robot monkey, you probably wouldn't make a digestive system complete with robot-monkey poo. But I wanted Bacon to feel as much like a real monkey as possible, so he eats and poos just like a real primate. What I didn't take into account is that Bacon has toddler's love of turd flinging combined with the accuracy of a guided missle system. It can get pretty gross.

But Bacon knows from poo. So when the little fellah showed me a picture of John McCain followed by this video, I knew he was trying to tell me something.

After a few minutes of wacky miming on Bacon's part, I figured it out. Much like the similarly white-haired polar bear, McCain is dropping a cloudy load into the pool every time he does some dirt to Obama like questioning his patriotism. When you poo in the tub, it makes everything cloudy, and while other people in the tub can scold you for being nasty, they're still covered in poo. That previous sentence encapsulates the entire Republican electoral mindset.

Obama is too cool a dude to cop a squat in public, which is part of his appeal. Bacon, however, is not. Are you? No, Bacon, I don't need a demonstration. Out of the tub, Bacon! Don't do it ...

Oh, Bacon!

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