Several years ago I invented and built a robot monkey who I named Bacon. With the computational abilities of Deep Blue and the fun-lovin' mania of a toddler on Red Bull, Bacon can certainly be a handful to take care of, especially when he's wearing his rocket-shorts.
Hey, Bacon, get down from there! That banana creme pie is for after dinner.
Sorry. Anyway, Bacon's days are usually filled with monkeyshines and calamity, but recently I noticed he's been a little down in the dumps. When I asked him what's wrong, he didn't answer -- he's a robot monkey, after all. But I saw he'd just defecated all over a recent newspaper whose main story concerned all the nasty, low-down campaigning that John McCain and the Republicans are doing this year. Bacon couldn't say it, but I could tell that the thought of another Republican in the White House nearly broke his mechanical monkey heart.
I've never bothered giving money or spending time on a politician before, but I'm doing it now. Not just because I think Obama's pretty cool. Not just because McCain can't wait for us to get into another war or three. Or even because I'm unemployed and have some time on my hands. No, I'm doing it for Bacon, and all the other little robot monkeys and whatnots who deserve a chance to live in a pretty cool country that doesn't totally suck.
Please take a minute to check out our page and make a donation of any size. A little scratch now could go a long way later on. Also, if you know someone who could spare ten bucks for Obama, ask them to do so, either through our page or just on their own.
http://my.barackobama.com/page/outreach/view/main/bacontherobotmonkey
Bacon thanks you. Hey, hold on. Bacon! Where'd you get ten pounds of chicken feathers? Put those down! Get away from that ceiling fan! Aiiiee!
Oh, Bacon!
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