The Eminem-Bugliosi Defense

After an unfortunate incident involving a gallon of barbecue sauce and some cherry bombs, I had to put Bacon in a "cone of silence" for a little while the other day. That means no rocket-shorts, no apple butter, nothing. I used the quiet time to watch some teevee and wound up watching the battle-rap finale of the Eminem movie 8 Mile. I was getting into it when Bacon came up to me, holding his copy of Reclaiming History (which his robot monkey brain had finished in ten minutes) and a photo of Obama. I got what Bacon was saying instantly.

What do Eminem and Reclaiming History author Vincent Bugliosi have in common? They both understand that sometimes the best offense is to attack yourself.



Prosecutors always go first in trials, and Charles Manson-prosecutor Bugliosi understands the advantage that gives him. If there's something that he knows the defense is going to jump on, he introduces it himself first, no matter how bad it is. His theory is that if he says it first, it will have no power when his opposition uses it later on. It's exactly the method used by Eminem in his final battle against Papa Doc.

Placing the conventions back-to-back could work out great for Obama if he can 1). define himself for the media while 2). completely deflating the Republican attacks that will be coming the week after. Also, note that Papa Doc is a very Republican figure himself: a wealthy man posing as a hardscrabble leader who uses his opponent's skin color against him.

Barack Obama is smarter than me, and while he may not be as smart as Bacon, I doubt as much of his brainpower is devoted to monkeyshines. So I'm sure he's aware of this technique, and I look forward to watching it be put into play next week.

I was so proud of Bacon for pointing it out to me, I let him out of the cone of silence and gave him back his rocket-shorts. Now he's just taking some practice loops on the back porch. Hey, Bacon, is that the neighbor's cat? Bacon, cats can't fly! Bacon, look out!

Oh, Bacon!